Homage to Trainspotting.

2016 is done for me.  No weddings now until February (unless anyone want’s a last minute bargain) so going to have to concentrate on catching up on blogging most of last years 30 weddings and sorting out my site.


Here is a short film showing some of the highlights of 2016.

Have a good Hogmanay when it comes and I will see you all in 2017.


Aikwood Tower, Ardgye House, Aswanley,  Dunglass Estate, Freja Designer Dressmaking, Glencourse House, Graywalls, Melville Castle, Muckrach Country House Hotel, Roulotte Retreat, Signet Library, The Byre at Inchyra, The Lighthouse, The Spotty Dog, Wedderburn Castle,

Good evening.

Now that 2016 is coming to a close (it is, shut it!) I am finally catching up a bit with these wretched blog posts.  So much so that I am now in a position to blog a wedding which actually took place this year!

This couple, who’s name I forget as it was so long ago, got married or something at a castle or something in Scotland or something.  I do remember that he was bloke with a short name and expensive tastes in wine and she was a lady with a huge bunch of flowers.

It was February or January and there was a big dog, yeh there was definitely a dog, possibly black.

Ok, right that’s all the boring details out of the way.  Lets show you photos of a wedding which I know you will only be interested in if you know these people or you are getting married and thinking about getting some bloke to come along and photograph it.  Either way, just spend 5 mins having a wee look.

Oh wait!  Actually it’s a slide show.  Not done one of them in ages.  But (it’s ok to start a sentence with but) apparently it’s good for your SEO if you include slideshows and videos and stuff or something.

I find most photographer slideshows incredibly insipid and overwhelming spew-inducing.  So I have decided I’m only going to do slideshows now which have altogether inappropriate music.  This one is a cinematic orchestral piece, apparently.




And relax. I do remember them.  I remember at least half of my clients.  It’s Bethan and Rob and the wedding took place at Wedderburn Castle.

It will not have escaped you that wedding magazines, websites, forums and blogs always have A-Z’s providing 26 “handy” tips and saccharine sweet advice about relishing the day, choosing the right favours and where to buy those really cute bridal onsies.

I love all that stuff, honest, but there is room for providing realism too.  Here is the slightly tongue-in-cheek curmudgeon’s (some may say realists) wedding A-Z.


A is for Annul.  Did you know you can have your marriage annulled if your spouse had an STD when you got married?  Cheery start to the A-Z eh?  Also if it wasn’t consummated, weirdly though this rule doesn’t apply to same sex marriages.

B is for Best man, who the bride will secretly either hate or secretly wish she was marrying. B is also for Bridesmaids.  A constant source of aggravation.  Why does she seem disinterested? Why has she put on weight?  Why did she get that tattoo on her chin?  How dare she get pregnant!!

C is for Creepy uncle who gets a bit too drunk and a bit handsy.  C is also for Complaining.  Guests will complain (not to you) about… drink prices, seating plan, dry chicken, crap favours and long speeches.

D is for Dress. Are you all really ok with paying a fortune for a dress which you then have to pay more to make fit you?  All I’m saying is that a guy would make do.   D is also for Debt.

E is for Evening guests who you don’t like enough to invite to the full day.

F is for Fascinator, stupid name for a crazy hat thing. Doesn’t keep you warm, doesn’t keep the rain off. Pointless.  F is also for First kiss, no tongues please.

G is for Garter. Again, pointless, it ain’t holding anything up.

H is for Hen do.  One last chance to catch chlamydia. H is also for harp.  WTF is it with weddings and harps? Does anyone ever listen to harp music apart from at a wedding?

I is for Indifference.  This is what most folk feel about your wedding, accept it.  All they really care about is the free food and drink.  I is also for Inviting.  Inviting random people you barely know because your parents want to show off.

J is for Jilted, I’m just saying, it could happen.

K is for Kilt. If it’s a rental then please remind your groom to wear pants. Don’t want your man’s little man flopping around where others have done before.

L is for Looking beautiful.  You will be told you are looking beautiful constantly throughout the wedding day even if you don’t and also by people for whom giving compliments doesn’t come naturally, men.

M is for Mother of the groom.  That woman who never really thought you were good enough to marry her little boy.

N is for No-one.  That’s the people who give a toss about the chair covers, the table centres, the jam jars, the vintage tea cups and the place cards. Except you, and the companies who are charging you an arm and a leg to supply them.

O is for Order of service. These are so that your bored guests can see how much longer the ceremony has to go before they can drink the free booze.

P is for Prosecco.  Take it easy in the morning girls.  No-one wants a bride falling arse over tit down the aisle or snogging her father in law in the photobooth.

Q is for Quoll. A carnivorous marsupial native to mainland Australia, New Guinea, and Tasmania.

R is for Restraint.  Try not to trawl every wedding blog and use every idea which you see in your own wedding.  No-one wants a high fashion, homespun, Christmas themed, beach party style naturist wedding.

S is for Shampagne, I know, I was struggling for an S.

T is for the Thousands and thousands of pounds you have spent for this one day which you ain’t getting back.

U is for Ushers. Generally hopeless.  Chosen because they are friends with the groom but not close enough to be best man.  Typically hang around in packs, too shy and nervous to do any actual ushering.

V is for Vanity. Is your wedding a vanity project? Will you be absolutely distraught if it doesn’t make it onto Rock My Wedding?

W is for White wedding. Traditionally white was an indication of purity and virginity.  Aye right, who you trying to kid?

X is for eXes.  Go on invite them. Chances are that at least two of his exes (which he hasn’t told you about) are there.

Y is for Yacht, nothing to do with weddings but you try thinking of a wedding related Y word.

Z is for… See Y.





My ongoing, two pronged campaign is to banish Gary Barlow and Bruno Mars from wedding music and educate the young’uns in the mesmerising beauty that is the music of David Bowie. With that in mind and with no regard given to how appropriate this music is for a wedding slideshow,  I give you my review of the wedding year.

2013 from McBeth Photography on Vimeo.

I wanted this wedding as soon as Sandi contacted me.  Her and Pat are relaxed (to a point) fun and friendly.  The wedding was taking place back in Sandi’s home town of  Tarbert.  Now I’m familiar with the midge (the midgie  to give it it’s correct Scottish name) being from the north.  However I had forgotten just how bad the west coast midgie can be.  Lest just say I’m glad I wasn’t in a kilt like many of the poor guests.

The weather was crap, right until the moment Sandi arrived at the church.  This fantastic timing had something to do with the kind Dutch tourist who decided to crash into the bridal car.

This was the ultimate small town, family affair.  Largely home spun, very crafty but still full of chic details and impeccable taste.



Still raining. 

Squinty car after meeting Dutch tourist.

Stopped Raining.

Its been the busiest year yet for McBeth Photography (me).  With just 5 weddings left  I’m going to look back over some of the highlights of the year with wee videos.  But instead of using the normal wedding type music ( there will be no Bruno Mars or Take That) i’m using just some of my favourites. Some of which may be completely inapropriate.

First up.  Gordon & Victoria Rose V Gogel Bordello.


If you like the kind of natural family photography seen below then please get in touch for info. I come to your home or some other fun location where the kids can be themselves.

The investment of £100 gets me for about an hour, then I’ll provide 10 high resolution images on disc to do with as you will and one 18×12 foam mounted print.

We can also now supply gift vouchers to any value which would make great christmas gifts.

To find out more either get in touch through the contact section of the site, email me at info@mcbethphotography.com or ring us on 01578 718923.

This special reduced fee will rise to £140 for bookings made after Christmas (to help me pay off Santa’s credit card bill) so if you are interested then please don’t delay.

Craig had a nice time meeting Kay and Sinc last week to show them our albums. Big thanks to them for deciding to go with McBeth Photography for their wedding next September. Looking forward to their big day and before that their pre-wedding shoot in the summer.

Nice to see the bookings building up for next year and with two more client meetings over the next couple of weeks plus two wedding fairs in the near future, we may end up with next seasons calendar full before this one really ends.

Hi everyone and welcome to the new McBeth Photography website.  The new site takes the form of a blog but has lots of the same items which were part of the old site.  Being a blog site allows us to update it more easily and from anywhere in the world.  It’s an exciting time for the business and as the new site takes shape it will have lots of interesting articles and info on everything relating to photography, weddings, portraiture, modeling etc.

Please visit regularly (or join our mailing list) to keep up to date with all that happens with McBeth Photography.